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Description
Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes: A No-Bullshit Guide to World MythologyFrom the creator of Myths Retold comes a hilarious collection of Greek, Norse, Chinese and even Sumerian myths retold in their purest, bawdiest forms All our lives, we've been fed watered down, PC versions of the classic myths. In reality, mythology is more screwed up than a schizophrenic shaman doing hits of unidentified wait, it all makes sense now. In Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes, Cory O'Brien, creator of Myths RETOLD , sets the stories straight.
From the creator of Myths Retold comes a hilarious collection of Greek, Norse, Chinese and even Sumerian myths retold in their purest, bawdiest forms All our lives, we've been fed watered-down, PC versions of the classic myths. In reality, mythology is more screwed up than a schizophrenic shaman doing hits of unidentified...wait, it all makes sense now. In Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes, Cory O'Brien, creator of Myths RETOLD , sets the stories straight. These are rude, crude, totally sacred texts told the way they were meant to be told: loudly, and with lots of four-letter words. Did you know? Cronus liked to eat babies. Narcissus probably should have just learned to masturbate. Odin got construction discounts with bestiality. Isis had bad taste in jewelry. Ganesh was the very definition of an unplanned pregnancy. And Abraham was totally cool about stabbing his kid in the face. Still skeptical? Here are a few more gems to consider: - Zeus once stuffed an unborn fetus inside his thigh to save its life after he exploded its mother by being too good in bed. - The entire Egyptian universe was saved because Sekhmet just got too hammered to keep murdering everyone. - The Hindu universe is run by a married couple who only stop murdering in order to throw sweet dance parties...on the corpses of their enemies. - The Norse goddess Freyja once consented to a four-dwarf gangbang in exchange for one shiny necklace. And there's more dysfunctional goodness where that came from.Binding Type: Paperback
Publisher: Tarcherperigee
Published: 03/05/2013
ISBN: 9780399160400
Pages: 289
Weight: 0.55lbs
Size: 7.90h x 4.40w x 0.70d
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4.5 ★★★★★
Based on 27 reviews
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Product Reviews
★★★★★ 4
Seems Very Durable So Far
Size: Small, Style: 4 Pack
My dogs are really enjoying these chew toys! These keep them busy for hours!! So far they seem very durable and my little dogs can really chew and destroy so I’m happy about these so far! They rarely each chew a toy at the same time, but choose to take turns instead. But now they each have a chew toy and they are happy campers!!
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Reviewed in the United States on January 1, 2026
★★★★★ 5
Lasted 7 MONTHS - perfect pack of bones!
Size: Medium, Style: 4 Pack
Lasted us 7 months! Our Belgian mal chews on these non-stop and treats them like her high value treats. We just re-ordered the 7 pack!
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Reviewed in the United States on April 11, 2026
★★★★★ 5
Recommended by my breeder
Size: Small, Style: Wishbone/Dental
Purchased these two small sized Benebones for my puppy Springer Spaniel. It’s one of her favorite toys and it is well used and well worn. Replaced these with the medium size recently as she’s almost full grown now.
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Reviewed in the United States on June 9, 2026
★★★★★ 5
Long lasting and safer alternative to sticks
Color: Dogwood & Calming, Size: Medium
These are great, very durable, and have lasted a very long time. Much safer for my dogs than the random sticks they find in the yard. They do get shorter with chewing eventually, but they don't break off in little chunks like I've seen with some nylon chews, and they don't splinter like wood. Medium size works well for both my 16 lb Cavalier and my 60 lb Pyrenees/Golden mix. They're both moderate-to-aggressive chewers, though size obviously affects how much damage they can do.
I wish you could buy the hemp chew separately because that one is very much a favorite in my house, so after 2 years and 2 purchases, I have barely any left of the remaining hemp chew, but still 2 of the dogwood chews that neither dog is as interested in anymore. I'd love to buy a couple more of just the hemp one.
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Reviewed in the United States on April 30, 2026
★★★★★ 5
Your dog will thank you.
Color: Dogwood & Fresh Breath, Size: Large
My dogs loves to chew on these. They make a small mess but not as bad as other chews. They are food for keeping teeth clean.
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Reviewed in the United States on May 31, 2026