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Commitment and Healing: Gay Men and the Need for Romantic LoveWhat's love got to do with it? Everything, according to Richard Isay's informed and illuminating look at the role of romance in modern gay life. I highly recommend this book for people of any generation and partnership status. Dean H. Hamer, Ph. D., author of The Science of Desire and The God Gene ""Richard Isay offers something far better than simple bromides and false hope. In this book, he challenges us with a provocative, illuminating, and
What's love got to do with it? Everything, according to Richard Isay's informed and illuminating look at the role of romance in modern gay life. I highly recommend this book for people of any generation and partnership status.--Dean H. Hamer, Ph.D., author of The Science of Desire and The God Gene ""Richard Isay offers something far better than simple bromides and false hope. In this book, he challenges us with a provocative, illuminating, and ultimately hopeful look at ourselves and explains how those of us who yearn to love and be loved (and who doesn't?) can best find happiness and healing in a committed relationship.""
--Eric Marcus, author of The Male Couple's Guide and Together Forever ""Many gay men (and others, too) are likely to find this book exceptionally interesting and helpful. In a series of vividly illuminating case histories and with a psychoanalyst's depth and clarity of insight, Richard Isay lucidly explains why gay men have particular difficulty in establishing and sustaining loving relationships and how they might sensibly improve their chances of doing so.""
--Harry G. Frankfurt, Ph.D., author of On Bullshit and The Reasons of Love ""Richard Isay's portrayals of gay men's lives are likely to be controversial. Isay is not the stereotypical psychoanalyst who sits quietly while his patients ramble--and we're all the better for that. He has something to say and what he says is worth hearing. This provocative book should be read by anyone who yearns for but hasn't yet found real love.""
--William Rubenstein, Founding Director of the Williams Institute on Sexual Orientation Law and former Director of the ACLU Lesbian & Gay Rights Project ""Based on Dr. Isay's three decades of experience working with gay men in therapy, this is a deeply thoughtful study of the difficulties gay men may experience with falling and staying in love. For a gay man, reading this book may cause him to revisit some dark places along his own life's journey, but it will also give him a glimpse of the self-affirmation and capacity for change that are the goals of gay-positive psychotherapy.""
--Simon LeVay, Ph.D., author of Human Sexuality and Queer Science ""Indispensable insights from America's wisest observer of gay relationships.""
--Charles Kaiser, author of The Gay Metropolis ""Gay people seek the freedom to marry for the same mix of reasons as non-gay people, and for most, love and commitment are central. Drawing on his exceptional expertise and decades of stories from his patients, Richard Isay explores the challenges and value of romantic love--how to overcome our pasts and enrich our present lives at home--as we build a future of greater equality and inclusion in society.""
--Evan Wolfson, author of Why Marriage Matters
Binding Type: Hardcover
Publisher: Wiley (TP)
Published: 05/01/2006
ISBN: 9780471740490
Pages: 148
Weight: 0.63lbs
Size: 8.62h x 6.38w x 0.68d
Review Citations: Publishers Weekly 04/17/2006 pg. 180
Library Journal 05/15/2006 pg. 118
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4.3 ★★★★★
Based on 649 reviews
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Product Reviews
★★★★★ 4
This book is great to share with friends and an excellent conversation starter ...
Format: Paperback
A quick but thoughtful read. This book is great to share with friends and an excellent conversation starter without being exactly political, in the negative sense of the word. Inspires constructive conversation regardless of your background.
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Reviewed in the United States on February 18, 2017
★★★★★ 5
Best book on the subject
Format: Paperback
Short yet concise argument for ending wars.
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Reviewed in the United States on August 31, 2022
★★★★★ 5
A must learn
Format: Paperback
Too important to be forgitten
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Reviewed in the United States on July 14, 2019
★★★★★ 5
It's How Wars End That Become Important Afterward
Format: Paperback
The twentiety century taught us a lot about wars and how they end. World War I showed us that making strong demands on the defeated (who didn't admit defeat to their own people) set the stage for the next big war.
World War II was fought until the Unconditional Surrender of the Germans and Japanese. Something that thinkers still debate as having made them fight all that harder.
VietNam was fought with no clear end in sight, and "another VietNam" entered our language.
The first Gulf War was ended when Colin Powell and Bush II debated how to end the war. They stopped before they had to go in and see what the Sunni's, Shiite's and Kurds made of the power vacuum left by the removal of Saddam would have created. Bush II is learning about this now.
This is the second revised edition of this book, originally published in 1971 and then updated in 1991 and now 2005 to reflect happenings in new wars.
Still some of the old wars had interesting insights that I didn't know before, such as how Finland, originally on Germany's side against Russia, made a peace with Russia and kicked the Germans out before they became a Russian province. Great Book.
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Reviewed in the United States on April 6, 2005
★★★★★ 3
Complementary readings
Format: Paperback
There are already three good reviews so I will only suggest reading the following books instead of, or in addition to, this peculiar work: a) "War in human civilization" by Azar Gat; b) "War before Civilization. The Myth of the Peaceful Savage", by Lawrence Keeley; c) "How War Began" by Keith F. Otterbein; d) "War and Peace and War: The Rise and Fall of Empires" by Peter Turchin; and e) "War and the Law of Nations: A General History" by Stephen Neff.
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Reviewed in the United States on August 8, 2009
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